“My name is Nicholas, a 50-year-old businessman based in Lagos State. My children introduced me to this site with the hope that I will get useful advice from your readers to help me make a decision over a very serious issue.
The problem is that a woman who dumped me with three young children over 20 years ago because I could not afford to take care of her, wants to come back now after God has blessed me.
I got married to Ngozi immediately after my apprenticeship (I should say we had to get married because she became pregnant for me). I learned MOTOR PARTS trading under a kinsman and after my freedom, the man settled me to enable me to start out on my own.
But with a wife and a child to take care of, the business NATURALLY had to suffer as I could not use the whole money my boss gave me to set up my shop.
I just managed to get a shop and put in some things that the little money I had could afford. Things were not rosy for me as I barely made enough to take care of Ngozi and our new baby but I trudged on, praying and hoping that things would get better.
Instead of my wife to bear with me, she began exhibiting some attitude that really got me worried. Ngozi would nag me from morning till night, calling me different names on my inability to take care of her and the baby.
There were times she even told me that my mates take to robbery and money rituals to make ends meet but that I was too lily-livered to take up such.
This led to a lot of quarrels between us as she kept threatening to leave me if I could not live up to my billings as a man. In fact, there were times she would pack out of the house for weeks and I had to beg her to come back, promising to double my efforts.
In between all of these, we had two more children but with the situation not changing, Ngozi left me with the three children behind, the youngest being just three months at the time.
I tried everything to bring her back, begged, sent people to her, cajoled her to come back but she refused. I later heard she moved in as a second wife to a rich trader and seemed to be living life to a hilt.
My elder sister came and took the kids with her and became their mother. I cried day and night for several months but I took solace in God to change my situation one day.
And God answered me when an old friend introduced me to the chemical trade and I worked with him for some years before my break came.
God blessed me and my business and within a SHORT time, I was able to expand the business, set up branches in some parts of the east and traveled to Europe and Asia often to transact business.
After staying alone for over 10 years, my elder sister practically forced me to get married to one of her friend’s daughter and I can tell you it was the best decision I ever took as Nkiruka brought a new life into me.
She has been my backbone, mother to my children and the best thing to ever happen to me. But now, out of the blues, Ngozi is trying to make a comeback into our lives.
I heard that she left her new husband when the man fell on bad times some years ago and she has been scheming to come back, even as a second wife.
Our first child, Ndidi, has been championing the cause while the other two have kicked against the move.
My family too are divided on Ngozi coming back and as a person, I had vowed never to take her back but the pressure is seriously on me.
Nicholas.
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