Touching story of a woman who sees her husband as an hero but wish he was dead ... (PHOTOs)

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When you vow to love someone in sickness and in health, for better or worse, you never imagine what that worst will look like. This is a story of a woman who adore her husband, knows he is a hero but with the condition he finds himself the wife also wish he was dead ... It is a touching one

Read on via UK Mirror

My 43-year-old policeman husband of 15 years and the father of our five year-old daughter Ella, was knocked from his motorbike in a crash that nearly killed him.

Against the odds, he survived but I’ve had to watch my brave, strong Paul become a shell of the man he was after 12 months in a coma.

If he ever wakes up, he’ll be brain damaged and need round-the-clock care.

Every day, I watch more of his dignity slip away and I know he would want to die too.

But the law won’t let me stop medics from keeping him alive because he didn’t put his wishes in writing.

As his spouse and next of kin, I know him best.

We had the hypothetical conversation about what would happen if one of us was in a vegetative state, but we never made our wishes official. Why would we?

As a war veteran, Paul survived six years in the Gulf War and Northern Ireland before going into the police force for another 11.

We met in 1995, when he was working with the fire service after six years as a gunner in the 32nd ­Regiment of the Royal Artillery.

We married five years later, and when our beautiful daughter Ella was born in 2011, Paul doted on her.

But our perfect family life was shattered on July 3 last year.

At 8pm I kissed my husband goodbye as he got ready to ride the 10 miles to work on his motorbike for a night shift.

Just 90 minutes later, I listened numbly as officers explained Paul had swerved to avoid a driver on the wrong side of the road, but it was too late.

A woman named Chelsea Rowe, then 25, was arrested at the scene.

I sobbed as medics warned he was unlikely to survive.

Against the odds he did. But after a week, doctors told me if Paul ever woke, he’d need 24-hour care.

At that point I told them I knew my Paul would never wish to be kept alive in such a state.

As the words spilled out I felt like the worst wife in the world. When the doctors told me I didn’t have the authority to make that call, I felt even worse.

I’d hoped I’d have the power to decide – but without his advance directive there was nothing I could do.

Now I’m in limbo. I’m a single mum of 39, juggling medical secretary shifts with caring for Ella and managing my grief.

She doesn’t recognise her daddy. The silent, still man she sees isn’t the loving father who would put her on his shoulders and give her cuddles.

In March, Chelsea Rowe admitted dangerous driving and will be sentenced next month.

We hope justice will be served but nothing will restore Paul to the man he was. Yet we can’t say goodbye as his body is still here. All we can do is remember him.

Now I’m writing an advance directive of my own – to protect Ella if she is ever in a position of making that decision for me.

I can’t stress enough that other couples should do the same. You might have told loved ones your wishes but it means nothing unless you write it down.

I love my husband but he is dead in all but his body. I don’t know when I will ever lay him to rest in peace. That’s a limbo no one should be in.